she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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