Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
