the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
