Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
