i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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