Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
