love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
