capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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