You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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