Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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