The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
