idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
