try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
