i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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