some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
