did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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