Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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