all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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