conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
