Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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