Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
