yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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