My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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