he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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