everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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