Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
