i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
