: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
