im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
