fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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