shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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