Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize