Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
