awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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