Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
