He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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