She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
