My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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