Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
