don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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