You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
