Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
