I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
