New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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