Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
