We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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