remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He better not be in your backpack
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
