I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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