girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
