i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
