Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
