mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I could fuck to npr.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
