Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
