ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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