i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
