Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
