Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
