Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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