I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
