I'm so fucking centered right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize