I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
