I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
