You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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