have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
